As I started living in Tirana, and the process of my adjustment to the place was on going, memories of the previous places I lived where too strong, making the adjustment process even slower. I lived in a few cities and towns in Greece for more years, in fact I passed all my teenager life in that place except some summers in Frankfurt, the town I born and lived amazing unforgettable childhood. The consideration of Germany’s perfection followed me for many years and affect the adjustment process during my years in Greece and was a nostalgic memory in Albania.
Nights, find me in front of my big window, looking on the street, with a glass of wine, or a drum of whisky, some jazz music a book or some other night, a quick drink in a nice bar right after work. Some of the evenings in Tirana, somewhere before 2002. I lived my adjustment, silent and mature, seeing the few cars pasting the junction under my living room. What a strange life, the landlord of the home I was rending that time, payed a lot of money to bring his self and his family, a wife and one or two sons, to Canada, chasing his dram and me in front of his window, the window he left behind, living my dream or kind of.
The financial independency was just the beginning of an amazing and very indent life, in the years coming next, chasing chances in every person I met, with many young age mistakes, anyhow, I got the start of a carrier which I dreamed but I never really accepted the environment where I lived in. Making all my dreams to look like paper constructions ready to fall after the next strong wind. Anyhow, it wasn’t for ever, or at last, I didn’t plane that long at this moment, driving me to reject a couple of good positions that I shouldn’t reject. But as nothing is happening casually, my life drove me through some decisions, to an unusually way where my old or younger repulsed find their satisfaction, injuring people and souls, injuring my soul too.
I was feeling a continuous fiber and nothing, but nothing could stop me. Stop me from what? Deep in my head I got a desire, which I expressed once to a dinner with a woman, totally spontaneously, in a restaurant called “London” near to the national museum, what I didn’t know, that time, is that I can’t stop trying if I don’t get what I want, even if I don’t show it, I’m doing it, silent, discreetly.
There were some thoughts I was making, also later after being married, or in the long relationships coming pas, some legal issues, that time, bothered me a lot. If I wanted to get a normal life, I did not have to search anywhere. I got my other half, I was living with her for more than 4 years, but I was not looking for a normal life.